Hurt Squirrels
Whatever Happened To The Fonz?
7/9/2001 3:53 PM
Sometime in the early 70s, the students of Jefferson High realized that he really wasn't all that cool, that he was just some aging greaser who never really grew up. In an attempt to regain their respect, the Fonz decided to break his old record and jump his motorcycle over SEVENTEEN cars in the parking lot of Arnold's. He was successful, but once again crashed into the fried chicken stand; unfortunately, a chicken bone pierced his skull and lodged into his brain, killing him instantly.

Mrs. Cunningham was heartbroken, as we all know they'd been "getting frisky" together for years, and turned to drinking heavily. Eventually, Howard couldn't take her drinking any longer and left, causing Marion to sink deeper and deeper into depression, until she finally overdosed on Valium and MD 20/20.

The Fonz had regained the respect of the teens of Milwaukee in his death, but due to the spectre of his memory, they stopped going to Arnold's. It was eventually bought out and turned into a thriving custard shop, the dark memories lost to the mists of time.

Next week: The fate of the Big Ragoo!

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