Hurt Squirrels
Claustrophobia, Yeah!
10/27/2004 11:39 AM
Yesterday, I learned I was claustrophobic. I've been having recurring headaches for some time now and finally got over my Warren Zevon-esque avoidance of doctors. She diagnosed them as possible migraines but there was a slim chance of a brain tumor. So to rule that out, she ordered an MRI.

I've seen MRIs on plenty of medical shows. They shove you in a tube and zap you. Except I didn't realize just how small that damn tube is. It's hella-small. Too small. Fucking small. No thanks.

Did I mention it's really small?

Of course, it doesn't help that I have a doughy Wisconsin frame. I think that even if I weighed half as much, it would still be too tight for my tastes. I hadn't even got halfway into the machine when I said, "Oh, hell no. Get me the fuck out of here."

I ended up having to go across town for an open MRI. It the same thing, except the machine is configured differently. Instead of the tube, you have two large coils above and below you, with the sides open. A little better but that helmet/cage thing that went on my head still gave me the wiggins. Somehow, I managed to keep still for the half-hour it took.

God damn, medicine sucks.

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